Tuesday, December 28, 2010

"Savannah Quiet Down"

I have heard this phrase frequently in my life. And, anyone that knew me when I was young enough to follow the orders of others, probably said it to me more than a thousand times.

I was the child that didn't know how to simply say something; I had to yell it, sing it, make a simple story into a monologue and hold the attention of the whole room before commencing my diatribe.

I don't think much has changed actually. When I worked directly with teenagers I would always get feedback that my girls were too noisy and I needed to teach them to speak softer. Sorry folks, you can't teach what you don't know.

Let's be honest, would I have a blog if I was content to just sit by quietly.

Know what I like about New Yorkers? They. Are. Loud!

I am frequently the quietest person in the room. It's unnerving. I'll have to work on that. I met a girl from Utah that has lived her for 10 years. She said that her voice has changed drastically in the time she's been here because she's always yelling.

I hope I get the sexy smoker voice without actually having to smoke.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Progressive Living Situation Part 3

The Final Chapter...

So finding an apartment in New York is the most impossibly insane thing I've ever been a part of! I couldn’t do it by myself. If I were to tackle getting an apartment without a broker I would have been scammed out of first and last month’s rent and end up living in Central Park. So I got a broker and paid an insane fee that ended up being totally worth it.

But just because I had a broker didn't mean the ordeal was any easier. We went out looking at apartments on so many different occasions I felt like I was dating the guy.
(which would NOT have been a bad thing)

Once we found one good enough to live in we would head back to the office and put in an offer. But EVER time it was always taken by the time I got my info in. Apartments go so fast around here that I thought I would NEVER be the first person to apply and I was getting nervous.

I shouldn't have been.

I am a firm believer that things work out the way they do for a reason. I had applied for some pretty great apartments but all PALED in comparison to the last one I finally looked at!!

It is the most AMAZING place!! I love everything about it and on top of that, it's HUGE!! I say the word huge because it's big even for a Utah apartment; and I live in New York, home of the 200 square foot apartment. I mean HUGE!!

I have so much space I gave a whole room to hula hooping.

So the first room is my living room, but through the archway is my hula hooping room. That's what I've decided to call it. The Hula Hooping Room. Every house should have one.

I'll post all of the pics with my furnished apartment later, but here is just a sneak peak...

I LOVE this place!!!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Progressive Living Situation Part 2

So, one day I was paying for another night and the wonderful Teresa mentioned that I should look into renting a room by the week. She said it's much cheaper than having to pay $50-$70 a night. She told me about a company to go to.

She is a genius!


I moved in with the super sweet Argentina who charged me $175 a week. I said I was just going to be there for a week, maybe two....


Well I ended up staying with her for two months and she saved my life.

This little orange room was crammed full of all of the things I brought with me from Utah. It was a tight fit and I think I got a little cabin fever before I had a job, but I'll always remember this room fondly. It also helps me to feel all the more grateful for my apartment now.


It was a huge step up from the YMCA, even though I still had to share a bathroom with like 5 people, but still, a HUGE step up!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Restless

I want to do SO many things ALL THE TIME!!!

It's like I'm one major ball of indecision. I want to have a million hobbies and live in a zillion different places and have more adventures than I have days of my life. I don't know how I'm going to fit everything in.

I want to...
play the violin, paint, hula hoop, do martial arts, be a dancer, interior decorate, dog walker, write a novel, become a chef or a contortionist or a hypnotist, speak Spanish and German and know Sign Language, climb Mt. Everest, and backpack through Europe.

My wise, wise aunt explained to me that I will never be good at anything until I pick the one thing I want and stick with it. That's why I'm awful at painting and playing the violin, I'm mediocre at hula hooping and speaking Spanish and am only good at being a social worker because they give me money to stick with that.

So I know that I just need to find my passion and make that my life. That way I'll be amazing at it and maybe I won’t let myself be pulled a part in a thousand different directions. But it's so hard when there are so many exciting things in the world.

I also want to...
Sail around South America on a sailboat and visit all of the coastal countries, live in a tree, move to Spain, live in one of those small English towns where everyone knows each other so well it's annoying, spend time in an Ashram in India, be on the Amazing Race, do humanitarian aid for an impoverished African village and sail around the world in a hot air balloon.

I can't possibly see how I can pick just one thing an dedicate my life to it.

I sure hope reincarnation is real.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Progressive Living Situation Part 1

When I first arrived in New York I stayed at the Harlem YMCA for almost two weeks. The people were rude, my floormates were odd, and I got yelled at on a daily basis by the big lady at the desk. It was the cheapest place in the whole city and for a whopping $70 a night I got bunkbeds, a tiny piece of soap and I washed the one towel they gave me with the rest of my clothes at the laundry matt.
I would always wait until after 7:00pm to pay for another night because that's when the one nice lady in the whole building was working. Other people would try to tell me they were booked and I couldn't stay another night, but not Teresa, she always said I could stay. Sometimes she even gave me a discount because she knew how expensive it was. For two nights she only charged me $50. Love that Teresa.

AND almost every time I needed to use the bathroom, it was unoccupied! It was wonderful! I was always able to get right into the shower every time I needed to. And the blinds in the changing area went all the way down to half of the window so I'm sure the guys doing construction on the street couldn't see me change.

Only one time did I have to go to another floor to use the restroom because someone was in ours. Luckily Lara had to go to another floor the previous day and she learned the hard way what floors NOT to visit, so I went directly to the right floor without any trouble.

Ah, luxuries


Somehow I don't think my move would be the same without starting at the YMCA

Nice VS Friendly

I bet you didn't know there was a difference...

Oh, but there is!!

I personally thought they were the same, so much the same that they were interchangeable. You could say a person was nice, and, friendly and it would mean the same thing.

Let's just get it straight, they are very different. Someone CAN be nice and friendly, and well that would just be a lovely person to be around. However, missing one of these qualities is truly noticed and sorely missed.

Allow me to explain

Friendly is a more surfacy type of appearance. Friendly is what a person is doing at the moment. In Spanish it's like Estoy. Its put on say, at work, or at social gatherings. It's a, "hellohowareyouit'sgoodtoseeyoutodayI'm finethankstalktoyousoon"
something that looks good on the front and helps people feel welcome.

People in Utah are GREAT at being friendly! I love customer service, I love lip service, I love all those surfacy things that make you want to buy someone's product or chit-chat about nonsense for a while. Utah is warm and fuzzy.

Nice is deeper. Nice is who a person is all the time. Nice is Soy. This is at the core of who that person is and how they handle others. It's an acceptance of other people who are different than they are. Nice likes people out of their social circles and comfort zone. Nice is real.

New York is good at nice. I have met some truly amazing people who do TRULY amazing things for others. These are good people who make the decisions in their lives based on who they are. They aren't driven by any other motive other than it is just in their nature to be nice.

I feel like this is where I should end my little comparison lesson. I mean it should right? But I just have to say, I have met wonderful people....

But I really miss friendly!

Is it too much to ask to walk into a store and for someone to ask you if you need anything? I'm not going to go into a tirade about people being rude because that would sound petty but I will say that the worst part about no one being friendly around here is that you have to be suspicious of someone who is. If someone strikes up a conversation about fruit in the check-out line I have to worry if he's going to mug me when we leave the store. If I'm carrying a heavy box and someone offers to carry it for me I have to say no because he could either steal my box, or find out where I live from carrying it to my house.

But really, there are some sincerely nice people here!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Don't just do something... Sit there

I know I'm always talking about all of the things I'm doing. I'm always moving, trying something new and exploring... Adventuring, if you will. But I'm not just a one trick pony.
I'd like to share the OTHER side of Savannah.

Believe it or not, I actually possess the ability to sit perfectly still... I know, hard to believe...

As a matter of fact I sit completely still in quiet meditation every single morning before I leave for work. Actually, I meditate before I even eat breakfast.
You know, food inhibits your body from being able to listen to itself. It numbs the senses...

Not that I am ever going to stop eating big greasy cheeseburgers, but at least I know the cosmic consequences of my actions.

I remember learning how to meditate in high school. He would tell us to develop a "Happy Place" that we could escape to and clear our minds. I envisioned a chair on the beach, made out of the sand. Sitting there at sunset listening to the waves crash against the shore.
I've used this "Happy Place" for over ten years now and it's really treated me well.
In 2008 I went to Hawaii and decided to make this a real place.

I don't really use this as my meditation device anymore; I've adopted a more Buddhist approach to meditation. However, I still use my "Happy Place" for many things. When I can't sleep or after being talked into watching a scary movie...I'll take a trip to Sunset Beach and listen to the waves.
I try to stay centered and grounded at all times (like a tree) and meditation is the way that I do this. It helps me to pull away all of the distractions in my life to get to the core of who I am.
It is so easy to get completely caught up in everything that is happening; politics, weather, opinions, fashion, work, neighbors, drama, illness, that we mold ourselves around the things that are happening around us.

Sitting quietly in the morning helps me to remember who I am and what I stand for and let the rest do what it will.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Quickly

Quickly, Quickly

I have always said I walk for purpose, not for pleasure. If you want to take a lovely stroll through the park with me, I'm game. We'll have a great time. But generally speaking I am walking somewhere!

One of the girls I work with moved to New York at the age of ten. She said the first word she learned in English when she came was quickly.

It's like an unspoken rule that you must move at the quickest pace possible. It is not ok to stop or slow down in the middle of others who are moving. However trampling, pushing and sidestepping those in need IS ok.

You must rush, plough through, and reach your destination in the fastest manner.

Move, Move, MOVE!!!

I love it!!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Things I wish burned calories

I spend like 27 hours a day on the train to and from work, then another 15 hours a day at work. I haven't joined a gym yet because I haven't had a permanent place to live. And anyone who knows me at all knows that I LOVE to work out and I start feeling like margarine when I don't… so...

These are things I do FREQUENTLY and wished they burned calories


*Commuting

*Stress

*Listening to boring people

*Smelling funky things

*Playing Texas Hold 'em on my phone

*Sitting in an office chair

*Avoiding panhandlers

*Checking out men


These are things I do on a DAILY basis

If they counted as exercise I wouldn't need to join a gym ever!!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

These are the days you will remember

For the rest of your life

These are the memories you’ll pack in a box and you’ll pull out sometimes. So pick your flowers count the seconds roll the dice but baby don’t wait until it’s too late, put a smile on your face. These are the days

Jo Dee Messina knows what she's talking about

So far…
· A man has fallen asleep on me on the train
· I walked into a stranger’s apartment because I was lost
· Spent an entire day without talking to anyone
· Made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while sitting on my bed because it’s the only space I have
· Lived at the YMCA
· Fit all of my possessions in a car
· And then in a single room of a house which I also had to live in
· Had a “moment” with Mr. Big
· Watched all 10 seasons on Friends on DVD before I had any real friends
· Made out with a NY cop
· Got yelled at by a subway station attendant
· And cried in about 4 elevators


These are things I'll never forget

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Things I Love

I am really more of a lover than a hater so I have many, many things I can write for this. I didn’t want to be boring or mushy so I’ll give you the top 26 things I love in alphabetical order.

Apple: The Big

Blueberries: Everything blueberry and blueberry flavored. YUM!

Crying: I am such a huge crier. I love it and also can’t help it. Sad things, happy thing, new shoes… I cry for them all

Dancing: no explanation necessary!

Eggs: The incredible edible

Friends and Family: I think I have the greatest of both of these
Giraffes: Hands down my favorite animal. There is something so impressive about a giraffe. I can just stare at them all day and never get bored.

Hula Hooping: My all time favorite hobby. I learned that there is a girl who teaches Hula hoop lessons in the park. I am SOOOO signing up!!

Ipod: I like to wear my ipod when I walk around, it’s like my life has a sound track behind it. My favorite is when I’m on the subway and Journey’s song Don’t Stop Believing comes on. One day I’ll take the midnight train headed anywhere…

Juice Boxes: Best. Invention. Ever

Kleaning: That's right, I couldn't think of a K but I LOVE cleaning. There's something about cleaning and cleanliness that is just magical

Love

My Mug: Enough Said

Note Pads: I love writing things down and taking notes and planning and making lists. How can you not!

Other people: meeting new ones and such.

Pie!!

Quiet: I don’t just like the quiet because it’s convenient that it starts with a Q which is a difficult letter. I love the quiet. I meditate every morning before I start my day. It helps me get centered and focused. Besides, sometimes you just have to be alone with yourself and block out the noise

Reading, Riting, Rithmatic: Ok, so I actually hate math but I LOVE reading and writing! W was taken with something that I love more than writing so I had to figure out how to fit it in somewhere else. I love to read and I am always doing so, but even more than that, I love to write. I don’t know that I’m an amazing writer, but I love being a story teller through writing.

Shoes: Anyone who knows me for more than a day knows that I love shoes and have an insane collection of them! I had to sell a bunch of shoes before I moved because I just didn’t have enough room to take them all. But since moving I’ve already bought 3 new pairs.

This baby: S was taken but I can’t leave out Sariah. She’s my favorite little buddy!!

Um.....

View: From my office. It is so nice and peaceful and after school there are always little kids playing outside.

Water: I love every aspect of water (except humidity but that’s beside the point) I don’t drink soda so I’m often left with terrible options anywhere I go, but luckily I’d rather have water anyway. It is so clean and refreshing… but besides its drinkable properties it also has the ability to create terrific activities and hours of entertainment. I love to wakeboard, surf, swim and boat; all things that very much require water to be successful.

Xena: Also She-ra, Amazon Women and all strong warrior women in general. I love a good female butt kicker

Yogurt: both regular and frozen

Zoo: Once again, not just because it’s conveniently a Z. I love zoos and animals. See my video from the zoo in Omaha!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Things I Hate

Oh sure, it's not a very uplifting post, but I'll keep it brief and maybe tomorrow I'll post about the things I love...

When it's just me and one guy on the subway after 10pm...

Need I say more


Desk Calendars
I HATE desk calendars!!!! This is freaking 2010 people. EVERYTHING is online!!!
My schedule has been on my phone for the past 6 years or more.
At work I use my Outlook calendar.

It's amazing by the way.

No one in the world actually uses their desk calendars for anything but doodling on. Whenever I sit at someone's desk I'm always put off by how gross and cluttery it looks. I was just going to do away with the whole thing when my dear assistant brought in my 2011 desk calendar so that it was "ready for me when the new year comes"
She is such a sweet lady that I didn't want to say, "Hey, I don't appreciate you ordering this for me, go ahead and throw it away." So it looks like I'll have a desk calendar until at least February and then I'll feel comfortable hiding it.



Filing Cabinets
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE organized things. I fully support the concept behind filing cabinets, but it's the actual delivery that disappoints me.

Filing cabinets are in the same category as desk calendars. It's just a bunch of extra clutter that isn't up to date and people don't use anyway. I guarantee you can go to any filing cabinet in any office in America and it's full of old, outdated materials that no one looks through. This is only one of the drawers in my desk and every day I go through and throw away a file or two of things I know I'll NEVER look at.

Again, everything is on the computer.

Which brings me to my next point.

Paper.

I'm sorry Dunder Mifflin, but I can do without your product.

Every day I get handed paper to review. I review it. Then I throw it away. This has not been ok with me. I feel some sort of moral irony about taking my reusable canvas bags to the grocery store but then throwing away 10lbs of paper a day at work.

So today I got all motivated and jazzed about saving our planet and I gave a motivational pep talk to my assistant about becoming as paperless as possible.

She was totally on board!

I must be an amazing speaker.

After that every time I asked her for some document or another she would get a sparkle in her eye and say, "Sure thing, I'll email that to you right now"

Yay Earth!


These Things
I don't know what they're called... clippies?

I hate them.

Oh, I don't know why but something about them just rubs me the wrong way. Every time I see the little pile of them in their container I get irked. They just make me so mad.

Want to know what makes me even more irritated?

Let me explain...
Ok, so I LOVE note pads! I mean LOOOOOOVE them. I know, ironic how I hate paper so much. But just attach a bunch of them by the top and I'm in heaven. I'll explain more in my "Things I Love" post if it makes you judge me less.

So, here I am, loving my notepad but the pages are becoming unruly. Especially the further I get into the pad with my diligent note taking. The pages on the top just go mad. They can't contain themselves and act out aggressively towards me.

One day I notice someone writing on the same kind of pad as me and she has one of these damn clippies on the top of her pad. It is keeping all of her top papers completely in line.

I liked her motivation to manage her impossible paper but I was skeptical that she should fall to the evil influence of the clippie.

However, I did succumb.

And I liked it...


Of course I was furious!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Henry Doorly Zoo

Best. Zoo. Ever!!!

video

Omaha Rocks :)

Monday, September 27, 2010

Unagi

I am armed... With knowledge and a pretty pink weapon!!

Yesterday I took a self defense class to appease the worriers in my life because of my new dangerous city. I don't know if anyone was appeased or not, but it was a GREAT experience!!
I learned so much amazing information about first avoiding being a target and second how to handle myself once I become a target. Last of all I learned how to kick some ass if someone actually put their hands on me.

I left feeling confident and smart.
Two things I already enjoy feeling...

I also left with a kubaton

It doesn't look like much, but let me hit you with it and we'll see how effective it is.

No seriously, I really want to hit someone with it.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

What's Meant to be Will Always Find a Way

GOD LONG AGO DREW A CIRCLE IN THE SAND
EXACTLY AROUND THE SPOT WHERE YOU ARE
STANDING RIGHT NOW.
- Sufi

Monday, September 13, 2010

Things You Can Learn About a State by Driving Through it Along I80

I don't think I need to learn anything more about a state than what
I can learn about it along I-80.

Wyoming is boring
Nebraska is also boring.

Plus there is nothing good to buy for a souvenier at any of their gas stations.
They do have at least one chubby poorly behaved child in attendance at McDonald's.
And gas is cheaper than Utah (but I soon learned that is the case everywhere)
Iowa is freaking amazing!
Home of the best rest stops before Ohio yet no tolls.
They supply free WiFi at their rest stops. Making a great place to turn in homework or catch up on facebook when you MUST get out of the car or you'll go insane.

Iowa is also a great place to get lost in a cornfield.

Illinois is SO windy, yes it's home of the windy city but that doesn't explain the ferociousness of the gusty winds. It should be called; Chicago, the blow your car right off the road city.

They also have a museum that once had a Harry Potter exibit. But they WILL look at you like you are the world's biggest idiot when you ask to buy a ticket a year late.
Indiana can kiss my ass! It's gross, ugly and has crazy expensive tolls but no rest stops.

I don't remember Ohio, that's how memorable it was.
It did have the most amazing rest stops. They were like mini malls. You could do your laundry, take a shower, watch TV, and eat at several different restaraunts. However, we drove through there late at night so all we got to do was use the restroom. However, leaving Ohio we paid $13.50 for their toll which showed us just how they fund those magnificent rest stops.
Pennsylvania is ADORABLE!!! I would live there just because of how cute it is.

Home of the world's most comfortable swing, can't beat that!
PA also has a sense of humor. Every so often we would pass a sign that said,
"Buckle Up Next Million Miles"

New Jersey must have a problem with tailgating. Can you see those little dots on the road? These are to help you know how far behind the car in front of you to drive. The thing is, the dots were a little too close together in my opinion.

Who needs a tour guide, I think I learned a lot about each state!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

New York Road Trip in Numbers

My trip to New York is best summarized in numbers...

33: Mapquest hours of predicted straight driving.

62: Actual hours including stops, sleeping, detours, and extra trip to Connecticut when the YMCA lost my reservation. In all, 62 hours attached to the confines of the car and surrounding area.

2,264: Miles from Utah to New York with a detour down to Chicago to see the Harry Potter exhibit.

365: Days since the Harry Potter exhibit has been at the museum but would we like to see the exhibit about weather? No thank you.

1: Potted plants that started the trip to New York

0: Potted plants arrived in New York (Sorry about the quick acceleration Olivia, I kept your pot for a future Orchid though)

8: The number of states separating Utah and New York (for a total of 10 states visited in a 3 day period)

87,465: Number of stares we got from people thinking we were crazy for stuffing our car so full. On a side note the passenger seat was so impossible to get in and out of that it was easier to crawl in from the driver's side.

0: Number of Hotels stayed in on the trip

2: Nights we slept in the cramped car to save money on hotels


3:00...AM: time in the morning when I went absolutely CRAZY, clawed my way out of the car, ran around the parking lot and beat my head against the road from cabin fever! After doing some yoga stretches, pacing and talking to myself like a mad woman then throwing all of the items from the passenger side out of the car into the parking lot I was able to go back to sleep. If it hadn't been so cold in Iowa I would have slept on a bench at the rest stop.

18: Hours it took before I went crazy

50: Hours it took for Lara to go crazy. She may be able to handle confined spaces better but my freak out was WAY funnier!! Approx 1 million: Bathroom stops

$33.50: Amount paid in tolls along I-80. Indiana was a rip off!!! Expensive tolls and NO rest stops… Ohio had the most expensive tolls but we gladly paid them for their extremely hospitable, castle-esk rest stops! 24: Age that Lara started looking like her mother

$204.26: Total price of gas. Not bad at ALL!! Nebraska wins for cheapest gas coming in at $2.55 a gallon!

120: Minutes it took to cross the George Washington Bridge0: Number of bras I can wear while I drive. Nope, can't do it... And no one can make me wear it either.

37: Number of wipies and sinks it takes to take a bath on a road trip. 1: Number of Savannahs the state of New York increased by

Sunday, August 29, 2010

A Sightless Lagoon

While sitting in my seat waiting for the thrill of the Fire Dragon at Lagoon today I watched as a guy helped his blind friend onto the roller coaster.

It made me wonder what it would be like to experience the thrills of an amusement park sightless. Would it be more intense not knowing what was coming? Would I be more anxious with anticipation? Would I be extra sick? So I set off on the ride with my eyes closed tight and excited for a new experience.

I was wrong on two of the three accounts. Without sight I wasn't nearly as anxious or nervous and it wasn't very scary at all. I couldn't tell how high I was, I didn't know what direction I was facing and I didn't know when a fall was about to happen. I just sat calmly and enjoyed the wind and shift in direction. Once in a while I’d get butterflies, and I always slammed into the person next to me on a quick turn because I didn’t know to brace myself, but in all it was significantly less intense without experiencing it visually.

I WAS however more ill when the ride stopped than I had ever before experienced. Once the ride came to a halt it felt as though my head went through every turn in fast forward. Like it had to quickly catch up to what my body had just gone through until it came to the end of the ride and all was calm again. It was the closest I've ever come to being physically ill from a roller coaster in my life.

But it didn't matter; I was on a new quest. I rode every ride today with my eyes closed determined to turn this from a curiosity derived experiment into a life changing lesson.
(As I do with most things)

It wasn't until I rode my favorite and most feared ride that I learned what that lesson was.

The Rocket (re-entry style) makes me crap my pants. I can NOT handle it. It is the only one that TRULY scares me. So, of course I have to go on it. But every time I get to the top and I look out and see the cows in the field (they're really far away) I change my mind and want to get off. That is when I usually turn into a giant baby, cry for my mommy and suck my thumb. "I've changed my mind" I yell. The gracious conductor says, "I'm so sorry ma'am, let me get you down from there" and then that sneaky little devil drops me from the sky like a sack of potatoes.

TODAY however, was a completely different experience. I sat on the ride with my eyes closed and would you believe it, I had no idea how high I was. I didn't see any cows, I didn't change my mind, and I didn't even need my mommy. I did feel the drop but it was brief and mostly windy. Not nearly the death defying plummet to Earth that it usually is.

And that's when I learned the moral of my experience.

While riding each coaster I felt completely calm inside. I listened to my body as it told me how to feel. It told me to be calm, adjust to the sudden change of direction, and enjoy the wind whipping my hair. It was only by listening to people around me that I got any clue I should be scared. The woman behind me yelling, "no, no, no, oh God NO!!!" made me wonder why I wasn't scared. The whimpering in the seat next to me made me curious about what was upsetting her so much. And the screams from the front made me think that I was lucky to be missing such a traumatic experience.

I think that daily we all take clues about how to face our lives based solely on how others think we should. "Savannah, aren't you scared to move so far away?" Crap, I wasn't until you said something. Now I’m terrified because you think I should be.

While on the Rocket I learned how to face my fears, not blind to the adventure, but blind to the fear. With my eyes closed I wasn't afraid of the task (*task being drop to the ground like dead weight) placed before me. I just sat in my seat and did what I was supposed to.
And so that is what I will do now. My eyes are blind to the people who would make me believe I must be afraid of my life and what I do with it. I have not felt fear on my own, and I will not start because someone says I should


So there…

Sunday, August 22, 2010

A Man Can Drown In a Teacup

I heard this today and it struck a cord with me.

I couldnt help but think how absolutely true it is...
Some people live their lives in a teacup. Small, unthreatening and fragile. They stay with what they know, never push the boundaries of their reality, and keep things simple. And yet they still manage to get their head under water and drown. I'm absolutely not disparaging anyone for having a simple life, sometimes I wish I could. I'm only baffled by their ability to become completely consumed by the obstacles that get thrown at them and their inability to rise above. But enough about obscure other people that I have no right to talk about in the first place.
Let's talk about me...
I try to have a HUGE life. I live in an ocean of a life and I am riding the waves. I have always met adversity and trial head on with an invincible attitude and an optimistic view of the outcome. I revel in tribulation and scoff at the mundane. In the ocean of my life I am swimming at times, surfing most often, and grabbing a lifeboat when I need help, but I never let my head sink below water. I don’t say all of this to brag, it’s not really my style… well that may be a lie… but the truth is that I often wonder how I became this person. How and when did I make the decision never to drown in a teacup? It was my choice. I could easily do it. Many people do. But what makes one person choose to rise to their challenges and another suffocate under them? I’m not sure, but I am glad I made the right choice.



Surfs Up

Monday, August 9, 2010

Whose Idea Was This?!!!


I woke up at 3:30 AM on a Saturday, picked up Rain and Lisa, then drove to Provo. Once there we met up with Ruth and picked up our numbers. Then we all hopped on a little yellow school bus to take a 20 minute drive up the canyon. After a visit or two to the port-o-potties we waited around for an hour and a half in the cold. Then when it finally reached 7am some man yelled at US for holding up the race!!!! So now that I have been awake for FOUR hours after only sleeping for three, I am now expected to run 13.1 miles?
Again I ask whose idea was this??? This is in the school bus on our way up the canyon... Ruth's first race, she is VERY excited!! My 4th... I'm less excited...
Lisa looks so cold and sleepy. I feel like this picture captured the essence of our morning. And do you see how dark it was? That's right this picture is taken after we had already accomplished many things that morning. We were working very hard and the sun didn't even have the decency to come up. Rain is always quite entertaining when she is tired. If I'm ever feeling blue I should just wake her up at 3am and make her try to function.



I was SO glad to get to have this experience with Ruth. She and I have been so close since the day she was born (I'm sure of it). When we were younger she would always try to get me to go running with her. She would run for miles and miles and I would run for minutes and give up. I just didn't see the point. When I became a runner she was shocked. I'm really happy that we could do this race together.
She beat me though...

This was a nice race that was easy and fun, but it didn't start that way. You always hear how races (sporting games and all athletic event) are won and lost in your mind. It is very, very true! I went through an emotional ordeal during this race. I started in a foul mood which continued to increase as I ran. I was playing mind games with myself. I told myself everything negative that was bothering me. I had a Forest Gump moment where I thought I just might stop running altogether because I didn't see the point anymore. Then I focused on the fact that everyone in my group was way ahead of me (something I knew was going to happen going into this). I stewed in my negativity for about 3 miles focusing on all of the aspects of the run and my life that were upsetting me. Finally I told myself that this race was mind over matter. I wasn't tired, I wasn’t breathing hard, and I didn't even have any sore muscles yet so what was my problem?

Nothing but a bad attitude!

Luckily for me, my mind is very strong and I work to maintain control of my thoughts and feelings at all times. First I took inventory of what was making me so negative. Once I realized what it was I let it all go. Just dropped it right there on the road and kept on running. I felt a little lighter after that. Then I made myself be in the here and now. I realized I was letting my mind and legs become bogged down by things that did not apply to running a race. I pictured the world and imagined everything getting smaller and smaller until I was finally focused on myself and the point I was at on the road at that very time. Then I closed my eyes.

They say when you lose a sense all of your other senses become heightened. Fact.

As I ran with my eyes closed (for about 20 minutes, peaking periodically only to make sure I was still on the road) I became so aware of myself and my running. I wish I could have run the whole thing with my eyes closed. I was able to feel the road, pace myself with what felt right rather than how fast I was passing things, and hear the music in my ears and my soul. It was the most liberating thing I had ever done. I felt amazing!!

After once again being in tune with myself and feeling like Savannah, I was so excited to be running. I was tearing up a little while I ran (which is another valuable lesson learned. Don't cry and run, it's awkward) After that I saw the 4 mile marker and I had a perfectly lovely 9 mile run.

That looks like a group of winners to me. Rain came in 1st with a whopping 1:47 time. That is amazing!!! Then Lisa and Ruth and I, as the slow old woman, picked up the rear with a pathetic 2:25. That's ok though, I had a blast!!