It made me wonder what it would be like to experience the thrills of an amusement park sightless. Would it be more intense not knowing what was coming? Would I be more anxious with anticipation? Would I be extra sick? So I set off on the ride with my eyes closed tight and excited for a new experience.
I WAS however more ill when the ride stopped than I had ever before experienced. Once the ride came to a halt it felt as though my head went through every turn in fast forward. Like it had to quickly catch up to what my body had just gone through until it came to the end of the ride and all was calm again. It was the closest I've ever come to being physically ill from a roller coaster in my life.
While riding each coaster I felt completely calm inside. I listened to my body as it told me how to feel. It told me to be calm, adjust to the sudden change of direction, and enjoy the wind whipping my hair. It was only by listening to people around me that I got any clue I should be scared. The woman behind me yelling, "no, no, no, oh God NO!!!" made me wonder why I wasn't scared. The whimpering in the seat next to me made me curious about what was upsetting her so much. And the screams from the front made me think that I was lucky to be missing such a traumatic experience.
I think that daily we all take clues about how to face our lives based solely on how others think we should. "Savannah, aren't you scared to move so far away?" Crap, I wasn't until you said something. Now I’m terrified because you think I should be.
While on the Rocket I learned how to face my fears, not blind to the adventure, but blind to the fear. With my eyes closed I wasn't afraid of the task (*task being drop to the ground like dead weight) placed before me. I just sat in my seat and did what I was supposed to.
And so that is what I will do now. My eyes are blind to the people who would make me believe I must be afraid of my life and what I do with it. I have not felt fear on my own, and I will not start because someone says I should