Monday, February 21, 2011

Awkward Conversations

The other day as I was walking down the street and I heard a man say to his friend,

“I wasn’t sure when the right time would be to ask her about an open relationship”

Well, I thought to myself, that is a very valid question

I mean if you think about it, when and how you approach the subject is crucial to obtaining the desired outcome. If one thing goes wrong in the delivery, bam, you’re doomed to a monogamous relationship. And we just can’t have that, now can we.

This has to be a highly thought out conversation. I assume it would have to go something like…

“Baby, I love you, and I think our sex life is off the hook. I was thinking that we should share the wonderful thing we have together with other people.”

As I was thinking about this it made me wonder how other awkward conversations are broached…

The swingers: “Sweety, Don’t you think it would make our love life more meaningful if we included other people in our bedroom activities?”

Choke Me Chicks: “Ok, so what I want you to do is simple, just put your hands around my neck and squeeze until I almost pass out. Don’t worry, it’ll be fun!”

The Sadists and Masochists: “I think it would be so awesome if we both came up with special words we had to use while we had sex so that we don’t accidentally kill each other.”

The other freaks: “Honey, I’m wondering if you wouldn’t mind putting on this clown suit and taking this Twinkie…” Well you see what I’m saying.

These are just things I wonder about…

I wonder how that guy’s open relationship conversation worked out for him.


Anonymous said...

HAHAHAAHAAaaahhhhaaa.... I'm still going.. tearing up now.. Too funny :)

Helaine said...

I was sitting here how to say this to you and then realized I've just gotta say it..... YOU ARE JUST WEIRD!!

Anonymous said...

Lolol! Too funny. "So baby, after we all go skiing, we can all drink some wine, play naked twister, and just...explore our creativity. Some group bonding. Cool?" I love ur brain!