Thursday, March 3, 2011

Ode to my Red Plaid Pants

Oh Red Plaid Pants, I love you so!
You used to be in style but you are no mo’.
You were magnificent and accentuated my ass,
But like the Back Street Boys, your time is past.

You are so wonderful, I couldn’t throw you away,
So I kept you around and found a place for you to stay.
In the back of my closet, at the foot of my bed,
I always had a place to hide your thread.
I tried you on again and again,
Keeping in touch like a long lost friend.

I tired you on one day
And to my dismay
You no longer fit
I knew it
You must have shrunk.
Too much junk in my trunk?
I think not!
That’s a long shot…
Ok, I’ll admit,
To the gym I’ll recommit.
To wear you again
From doughnuts I’ll abstain.

So now at twenty-eight, you fit like you should,
I can zip you right up, like I never before could.
We are a great pair, my red, plaidy companion,
Nothing rhymes with that but the Grand Canyon.

But times have changed and you’re no longer in style,
I thought I could still pull you off, but my look isn’t that versatile.
Alas, I must hold to the social norms of my age and position
Because I’m not 14 or a writer I don’t have the volition.

Oh Red Plaid Pants, I love you so!
You used to be in style but you are no mo’.
You are still magnificent and accentuate my ass,
But like the Macarena, your time is past.
(Note: It is very hard to take a picture of your pants WHILE wearing them)


Mom said...

Haha...Love it! They are cute pants, though!

Celestie said...

Oh. My. Gosh. That's just made my day. Nay, my week. That was the BEST! Oh, and the Grand Canyon part had me laughing SOOOO hard. And you still look amazing in them!

Megan said...

That was soo funny! Great poem! I too have a pair of pants (also red, coincidentally, however, not plaid) they could probably be in style, especially at my age, the only problem is I fit in them when I was like, 10, so even if I were thin enough I will never again be short enough. I'll never give them up however.. Never. (I'll make my kids wear them, kicking and screaming if I have to)

Larraine McCrea said...

LOVE IT! You're cute in your plaid pants!

Anonymous said...

Wait! What? They are NOT out of style! I am having this debate today with my 16 year old daughter... I have the same red plaid pants... only the plaid is a little bigger. I LOVE them, they look great on me. She says I'm too old for them -but admits they are not out of style! Why not?? If they look great, just wear them. I know I will... to my daughters disdain!