Thursday, April 21, 2011

The All Mighty Troll

Oh My Troll!

I know my posts are usually silly, but let’s try semi-serious and see how it feels. I mean, as serious as we can get about a Troll doll with flaming red hair.

I went through a time in my life when I believed in God. I believed in the one particular God who has a certain set of rules, expectations and commandments. Belief in this God requires a belief in many other very precise practices. As I proceeded through college my belief in this specific definition in God was tested. I remember taking one class in particular that left me feeling as though I couldn’t be an educated person AND maintain my current religious beliefs and practices.

I then went through a time when I did not believe in God as an entity at all. This was about three years ago when I felt like my religious beliefs were discriminatory and small minded. I had only known of God from a religious point of view. Without the religious aspect of deity, I didn’t know how to have any God in my life. So I did away with the concept entirely.

Nothing profound happened during either of these times to force me into thinking that one way is the “right” way; allowing me to settle into my own definition of the Universe and how I fit into the scheme of things cosmically. It’s been nice figuring things out on my own and finding contentment.

However, about a year ago I was making major decisions in my life. I was trying to get a new job, move a lengthy distance, make a decision to end a relationship, avoid the negative vibes being thrown at me, and generally do what was in my own best interest. It was all huge, new, and scary. I didn’t feel I needed to turn to God when my life became trying, but I did feel like I needed a way to center myself and think about what was best for me. This is when I began meditating. It was the perfect solution. It’s much like prayer. I set aside some time to be quiet, think about things I’m grateful for and put out positive vibes for the things I want to happen for myself and my loved ones.

I started feeling more at peace and grounded than I had ever in the past. This was about May of 2010. Things were lining up for me and going in the direction I knew they should. I was feeling a peace I had never before felt and making decisions that were right for me.

But a small problem arises for others when a person prescribes to their own spiritual belief system. Well wishers didn’t know how to support me. I didn’t find this to be a problem for myself particularly, but religion is a community endeavor that others want to be involved in. The responses varied from mild to extreme. Some thought I might be offended if they talked about God to me. Others didn’t understand how I was able to put one foot in front of another without a high power’s blessing. But those in the middle tried to adjust to the difference and integrate the new Savannah.

During one particularly bold (reckless?) decision I was trying to make, my friends wanted to be supportive. Many people said they’d pray for me. That’s awesome. Other’s told me I should pray. Not going to happen. But one thoughtful friend said she was going to bow down to the All Mighty Troll for me.
 When I stopped laughing, I realized that she had done the nicest thing anyone had done for me. She invented a neutrally expressive way to support each other spiritually.
Thank Troll


Megan said...

Now I better understand your "troll" references on facebook.

robin said...

That's awesome, Savannah! Congratulations on your spiritual journey ;-)

Celestie said...

PS - Thank Troll is probably my most favorite expression.

Mom said...

Baggies on the troll's feet...How thoughtful!
I too, am finding what feels right for me. Good for you!