Monday, April 25, 2011

How to Cope with Work Stress in a Healthy and Effective Manner

Option 1: Eat your sorrows away

Like many of you out there, my job is insanely stressful. I often ask myself why I dedicated years of schooling, hours of volunteer work, 5 years professionally, and often my social life to TEENAGERS of all things!! They’re disrespectful, ungrateful and mean. But luckily I have developed three very effective coping mechanisms to deal with the pressure. I feel like you too can benefit from my scientifically proven method (warning: my sample size is one)

Step One: Find a store within walking distance from your work

Step Two: Walk to the store when you are feeling stressed. (Bonus: this gets you away from the office and out into the fresh air. Sometimes “fresh” is a bit of a reach, however)

Step Three: Buy the quantity of candy bars that reflect your level of stress.
Note: If you find yourself wanting to buy more than 4 candy bars, go directly home and proceed to Option 2.

Step Four: Always go to the same store so that the people behind the counter can judge you and your caloric intake

Step Five: Flirt with the man behind the counter so that maybe he’ll give you the goods for free.

Step Six: Go back to your office, close the door, and eat your feelings.

I don’t care what Oprah or Dr. Oz say, this shit works.


Celestie said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! This whole thing had me laughing out loud (only because I know exactly what you mean) but the best part was if you find yourself needing more than four, go directly home and proceed to Option 2. I just need to know what Option 2 is cuz lately I'm a more than 4 kinda person. :)

Mom said...

You're making us wait to read option 2?! Meany!

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Reduce Stress said...

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Dealing with Anxiety