Tuesday, May 31, 2011

How to Get into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

I am a 28 year old, professional, logical, intelligent woman and I KNOW I am not alone in my desire to attend what I think must be the greatest school of all time. I mean seriously J.K., how do you think of these things!! I want to fly on a broomstick, run around an enchanted castle, eat chocolate frogs and have a conversation with a portrait. (Being completely honest I already do the latter)

When I drove to New York from Utah, The Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago was having a Harry Potter exhibit. You better believe we made a detour to see it. WE. Were. Stoked! The exhibit had promise to go into Hagrid’s hut and the Gryffindor common room, meet Buckbeak and a Horntail Dragon, and pull a Baby Mandrake. I was pretty sure we could have put together an impromptu game of Quidditch while we were there. The brochure said it was suitable for ALL ages…

The excitement of moving to New York PALED in comparison to these treats.

We drove 200 miles out of our way, paid the exorbitant price for parking and strolled up to the counter. The pompous undergrad behind the desk really pissed us off with her incredulous face as she failed to understand what we meant by “two tickets to the Harry Potter exhibit please.”

Once we helped her understand what it was we wanted (with very little patience and much exasperation) we had the pleasure of being the assholes when she said that the Harry Potter exhibit was there September 2009. (a year ago) Oh.

That’s what happens when I am left in charge of details.

Once she was comfortably back in her position as arrogant hoity-toity she asked f we would like tickets to the exhibit about weather. I was through with her looking down at us (seriously, the desk was really tall) and mocking our excitement and subsequent heartbreak about Harry Potter, I looked at her and said, “No, we’re not smart people, we just like Harry Potter.” Then we raided the gift shop.

I guess I’ll just have to go back to my old method of immersing myself in Ms. Rowlings amazing imagination.


Right before the seventh book came out I decided I wanted to read all of the books again. (Once again, I know I am not alone in this endeavor. Admit it, who else read all of the books over…) I read books one through five pretty quickly, then while I was reading the sixth book (I’m embarrassed to admit this) (wait, THIS part I’m embarrassed to admit?) I divided up the book by day, sort of as a countdown to the seventh one coming out. I arranged it just so that I would finish the sixth book exactly the day before my new book came in the mail. Whoa, loser!

The seventh book came out while I was at my live-in job as a Family Teacher with ten teenage girls. For the next week or so I made them all do mandatory reading hour… for like three hours a day… it’s ok, I think five of the ten girls all got their book in the mail too.

*Tangent: I remember one day in particular we were all sitting around the living room reading our prospective books; six of us reading the 7th book, two reading the 4th, one girl reading the 2nd and one had just starting the first book out of curiosity. (The last girl of the bunch boycotted the whole ordeal saying that Harry Potter was a conspiracy theory. Gotta love teenagers)*

By the end of the seventh book I had been fully immersed Potterville for about five months. At some point every day I dipped my mind into magic and adventure and by the end of the five months I found I had a problem.

A problem with reality.

I struggled to get a grip on truth. I didn’t know what was real or make believe. I honestly thought I saw suspicious things and mythical creatures. Every time someone swept the floor I expected them to hop on it and fly away. I would repeat spells pretending I was being funny but truthfully hoping they’d work. I was crazy pants. Literally bat shit crazy.

But therein lies the answer on How To Get into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry… Read all of the books really quickly… You’ll think you’re there. You’ll actually have to convince yourself that you’re not.

As we all get excited for the 7th movie to come out I thought I’d share this link. Try not to get emotional, I dare you.

!!!!!!!!!!HOLY SHIT I CAN’T CONTAIN MYSELF!!!!!! I just did a little research before posting this. The Harry Potter Exhibit is in New York RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s too bad I’m not allowed to go to Times Square anymore.


Keem said...

That was an awesome week, what with the reading. My favorite part was when a certain someone didn't have her privileges and couldn't read the book yet :) She made damn sure she earned them the next week.

Celestie said...

IT'S IN NEW YORK RIGHT NOW?!?!?!?! Why wasn't it there in January??? Oh my gosh I'm dying.

Ok so, being a Harry Potter fanatic myself, finding a bit of time on my hands, and to escape the world I'm currently in, I started rereading the HP books after I rewatched all the movies (took less than a day). I just started the 5th book, and I LOVE IT!!!!! I too am living at Hogwarts, playing Quidditch, casting spells at Malfoy in the hall, and, if you can keep my secret, Fred and I have a secret relationship going on.

Angela said...

I have never read the Harry Potter books.. This blog has made me want to read them. You INSPIRED ME TO READ! You do amazing things for your Country Savannah ; ) What book is your favorite??

Savvy Pants said...

I can't believe you've never read them! They're amazing!! The third one is my favorite followed by the fifth. But start at the first and read them straight through. It'll take you on a mind trip for sure!!

Megan said...

Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire is pretty amazing. (Are you really kicked out of times square? I can never tell when you're kidding) I would love to go to the exhibit, it should come to Utah

Angela said...

Ok! On it!!!

Kristie said...

YESSSSS. I love HP. After I finished the 7th book I didn't know what to do with myself. I told my mom I felt empty. Like HP had some kind of satanic hold on me. She was like, "Really?! Are you serious?! I wouldn't be surprised!" Haha. I love it that much.

Lara said...

I'm excited for the last movie, but really dreading it at the same time. I can't wrap my mind around it all really being over. I love all my HP friends so much that I want there to be 12 more books about them. Every time I finish reading the 7th book, I get so sad that it is all over that I have literally cried. Yes, I'm pathetic.