Monday, June 27, 2011

If I Had Nunchucks

I am terribly sorry about there not being a post last Thursday... What you didn't notice? I'll crying in my pillow tonight. I am on a splendid vacay in the beautiful Utah. What, Utah isn't your idea of a vacation? Lame. I am having a marvelous time but alas, I am far to busy to be able to sit down and write something to dazzle your imagination. However, that doesn't mean I don't have a few snacks for you in my absence.

One day about 4 years ago I was having a really rough time. I was seriously struggling to make it through the day (This was the time of my life when my candy bar addiction started) My friend took pitty on my pathetic state and sent me this letter. I have read it throughout the years whenever I feel blue and it has always picked me up and made me feel better. It was sent to her by her friend Jami Marsh, she sent it to me, and now I'm sharing it with you. I hope it brightens your day.


If I had nunchucks, the first thing I would do is stop combing my hair. And then if anyone commented on my hair in a negative way, like "whoa, someone's having a bad hair day." BLAM!!! Nunchuck to the nose. Then I'd say "Whoa, someone's having a bad nose day."

There's a lot of things that would change in my life. For instance, "beware of dog" signs would never apply to me. In fact, I would insist that the dog owners put up a sign for their dog that says "Beware of woman with nunchucks."

Also, there'd be no waiting in line. I'm not saying that I would attack the people in line. I'm just saying that where ever I go I will be swinging my nunchucks, and you're probably going to want to move.

There are some cons to having nunchucks, I will admit that. For example, my monthly light bulb cost will go way up because instead of simply turning off a lamp I will nunchuck it off. I will also probably get knocked out a lot, because honestly, I have no idea how to use nunchucks.

But the pros outweigh the cons by far. And once I own nunchucks I immediately become part of an elite club. And much like bikers who pass each other on the road and wave, when two nunchuckers pass each other on a crowded sidewalk while swinging their nunchucks, they give a little nod as if to say "If ninjas attacked right now you would be safe, and I would be safe, but the rest of these suckers would be toast."

Yeah...if only I had nunchucks...


Celestie said...

This makes me so happy!! I think it was a nice touch to add the Chuck Norris picture.

Megan said...

I love that first picture