Monday, June 27, 2011
If I Had Nunchucks
If I had nunchucks, the first thing I would do is stop combing my hair. And then if anyone commented on my hair in a negative way, like "whoa, someone's having a bad hair day." BLAM!!! Nunchuck to the nose. Then I'd say "Whoa, someone's having a bad nose day."
There's a lot of things that would change in my life. For instance, "beware of dog" signs would never apply to me. In fact, I would insist that the dog owners put up a sign for their dog that says "Beware of woman with nunchucks."
Also, there'd be no waiting in line. I'm not saying that I would attack the people in line. I'm just saying that where ever I go I will be swinging my nunchucks, and you're probably going to want to move.
There are some cons to having nunchucks, I will admit that. For example, my monthly light bulb cost will go way up because instead of simply turning off a lamp I will nunchuck it off. I will also probably get knocked out a lot, because honestly, I have no idea how to use nunchucks.
But the pros outweigh the cons by far. And once I own nunchucks I immediately become part of an elite club. And much like bikers who pass each other on the road and wave, when two nunchuckers pass each other on a crowded sidewalk while swinging their nunchucks, they give a little nod as if to say "If ninjas attacked right now you would be safe, and I would be safe, but the rest of these suckers would be toast."
Yeah...if only I had nunchucks...
at 9:00 AM