Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Learning About Myself Through the Eyes of a Seven Year Old

In case you weren’t aware, quitting your job to become a writer doesn’t pay much. In fact, the total amount I’ve made from writing these last two months is exactly $0.00.

Good times.

I anticipated this salary though... because I’m not a fool... I knew that I wouldn't be able to sell my book right away and I'm probably still a year or more away from publication.

So, I did what any other wanna be author would do in the interim; I got a part time job. Now I can pay my bills yet I still have plenty time to focus on writing.

Approximately 25 hours a week I am a babysitter extraordinaire. 

Believe it. 

I work with three wonderful kids. The two boys are older and don't require as much of my attention so the majority of my time is spent with a spunky 7 year old monkey-child.

I absolutely enjoy this little girl. She makes it a pleasure to go to work, which is why I chose to babysit instead of waiting tables. What I did not anticipate however, is how similar we are. I am learning a lot about myself through this child.

What I've found is that she is helping me to answer the big question everyone asks me.

“What is wrong with you?”

Let's evaluate...

You see, just like my cheeky monkey, I don't like to put my clothes on. Staying in pj's all day is a fine solution to the pants debacle, but I would rather run around in my underwear all day.

Whereas she HATES to take showers, I like the results of them, but I don't want to be bothered with wasting my time for one. I completely sympathize when she tells me she has better things to do than get in the shower. Good Luck Charlie is on for heaven sakes!!

Sometimes, for dinner, all she want to eat is macaroni and cheese and if I try to convince her to eat something healthier she will simply refuse to eat at all. I know she needs to eat, so I eventually cave and make her the coveted mac 'n' cheese. That girl is a genius. 

I have also been known to have dramatic episodes when I don't get my way. We are both a bit too old for this... Maybe I should work on that...

My monkey has a special condition which her mother has deemed, "Hungry Head". I have never related to any sensation more than this. When I'm hungry I get so unbearably grumpy that you might as well get the hell out of my way AND JUST GIVE ME MY MAC AND CHEESE ALREADY!!!

And lastly, like any other seven year old out there, If I become too tired I probably shouldn't have serious conversations because I've lost all ability to be rational. (If I ever had the ability to be rational.)

There you have it. I have finally been able to figure out what's wrong with me after all this time, I'm seven years old.

And don't mess with me when I have Hungry Head, it isn't pretty.


~Mom said...

Awesome! Hilarious! One of my favorite posts! I always knew you were still my little girl, deep down!

Celestie said...

Hmmm, then maybe my problem is I'm too similar to the 3 year old I babysit.....